Confusion During Christmas
by kyil
Summary: After fight w/ Glaxia in Anime. Usagi and Mamoru have an argument near Christmas. will they make up in time?


**Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon**

**A/N: Oh I just had the urge to write a christmas one-shot. This story is set a few years after the battle with Galaxia from the anime.**

The street is filled with the Christmas spirit. All shops were filled with christmas decorations as Christmas shoppers, families and couples joyously prepare for the big holiday. In the midst of all the happy chatter and laughter a sad and heavy-hearted Usagi was immune to all the Christmas cheer. She let out a sigh as she began to walk toward the park hoping to escape the crowd of people.

Arriving at the park, Usagi saw that there were kids building snowmen and having snowball fights. She couldn't help but smile at the sound of innocent laughter of the children causing her to momentarily forget her own sadness. However, that smile quickly disappeared as she saw couples strolling in the park hand in hand. She quickly walked away and sat down on a bench as a quiet sob escaped her. '_Oh Mamo-chan, did you really mean it,' _she wondered as she recalled the argument that occurred earlier that day.

//Flashback//

"I already gave up going to a great university so we wouldn't have to be apart! You are being too selfish right now. I have other responsibilities and can't always spend time with you!"

//End//

Tears fell from her cheeks as she remembered how angry Mamoru had sounded and the cold uncaring stare he had given her as he said it. He had never held that stare at her before and the thought of it sent shivers down Usagi's spine. She stared down at her hands and her gaze fell on the ring finger of her right hand. The finger no longer held the ring Mamoru had given her. In her angered, sad, and heartbroken state, she had hurled the ring back at Mamoru telling him he won't be burdened with her any longer before running out of his apartment in tears and ended up wandering aimlessly for hours until she ended up here in the park by herself.

'_I guess I should head home,' _she thought absentmindedly as she got up, '_I just want to sleep.'_

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**Mamoru's Apartment**

Mamoru stared dejectedly at his textbooks scattered in front of him on the desk trying to study for the exams coming up, but his mind could not concentrate. His gaze kept returning to the ring clutched in his hand. He let out a defeated sigh as he banged his head against his textbook. "Why was I such an idiot," he questioned himself.

In his mind, he kept seeing Usagi's widen eyes looking at him like he was a stranger with pain and hurt clearly written on her face. '_I'm so sorry Usako,' _Mamoru thought as he continued to stare at the ring in his hand.

Then with a determined look on his face, he swore he will make it up to her and more. '_I will give you the best Christmas ever,' _he swore as he gazed at the picture of Usagi and him he kept next to his bed.

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Usagi sighed as she entered the school gates. She had woken up early in order to lower her chances of bumping (literally) into Mamoru like she often does. Her lips curled in a small smile at recalling the shocked looking faces of Luna and her family. '_It's actually kind of nice being able to sit down and have breakfast with them,'_ Usagi thought as she opened the door to her classroom.

Not surprisingly, Ami was already sitted and studying her notes. "Good morning Ami-chan," Usagi greeted in her warm tone, but lacked her usual enthusiasm.

Usagi was greeted with Ami's shocked looking face. "Aw, come on Ami-chan. Is it that hard to believe that I'm not late," Usagi said as she giggled at the look on Ami's face.

"I'm sorry Usagi-chan, but it's...well I don't remember a time you were on time," Ami answered with a blush on her face, "Besides, you're not just on time. You're early!"

"Yeah well there's a first time for everything," Usagi replied with a sad smile before sitting down at her desk.

Ami noted the sadness in Usagi's tone and wondered what was wrong, but before she could ask, more students began to enter the classroom. A surprised Makoto had the exact reaction as Ami when she saw Usagi was already sitted. However, both Ami and Makoto's reaction could not compare to Minako's who had rushed into class right before the bell rang and fell to her knees when she was Usagi was sitted. Minako's eyes grew wide as she pointed a finger at Usagi too stunned to speck before finally bursting out in a whining tone, "Usagi how did you arrive before the bell rang?"

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"Usagi-chan what's wrong," Makoto asked when she noticed Usagi has been spacing out and haven't touched her lunch at all.

"I'm not hungry," Usagi answered.

The three girls had skeptical looks on their faces as they wondered what could be bothering their usually happy and energetic friend. They have all noticed how quiet Usagi had been all day as well as the way she seemed to be lost in thoughts during class rather than falling asleep. Suddenly Minako lifted up Usagi's right hand and exclaimed, "Where's your ring?"

At that, Usagi's eyes tear up before whispering, "I gave it bak to Mamoru."

The three girls' eyes widen in surprise at not only knowing Usagi returned the ring, but also at the fact that Usagi had not called Mamoru Mamo-chan. Makoto put an arm around Usagi trying to comfort her as she began crying. All three girls wondered the same thing, '_What did Mamoru do?'_

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**At Rei's Temple**

All five girls sat around the table with Luna and Artemis on the table after school has ended. Rei had demanded to know what Mamoru did when the three girls had told her what happened at lunch, but the girls told Rei that Usagi had insisted to tell them here since she knew Rei would want to know and Usagi didn't have the heart to tell her story twice.

Now twelve sad and anxious pair of eyes were looking at Usagi waiting for her to tell her tale. Usagi wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath before starting, "I had called Mamoru yesterday..."

//Flashback//

"Hello," Mamoru answered on the other end of the phone.

"Mamo-chan do you have time for a walk in the park today," Usagi asked in a hopeful tone.

Mamoru had been so busy lately that hey had hardly spent anytime together since Thanksgiving about a week ago. Usagi heard Mamoru sigh before saying, "I'm sorry Usako, but I have a lot of work to do, plus I have final exams coming up that I have to study for."

"Oh, that's okay then...maybe another day," Usagi said trying to hide the disappointment at his answer.

"Yeah maybe. I'm sorry Usako, but I got to go," she heard Mamoru say.

//End//

"Then I hung up after we said good-byes. I decided to go out for a walk on my own maybe do some window shopping," Usagi continued, "I really missed him, but I know I can't always come first. I really did."

Usagi had whispered the last part out as she once again began to tear up. The girls looked at her sympathetically as Rei passed Usagi a tissue box. Usagi whispered her thanks and wiped her eyes before continuing.

//Flashback//

Usagi had walked for a few hours and it was getting close to lunch time. '_I know. I can buy some food at Mamo-chan's favorite coffee shop and surprise him with it,'_ Usagi thought happily, '_Poor Mamo-chan's probably been working hard all morning.'_

As she got close to the coffee shop, she suddenly stopped when she saw Mamoru walking out of the coffee shop with another woman by his side. Usagi saw Mamoru smiled at something the woman said and felt like a knife had been driven into her heart. '_They're just friends. Mamo-chan is not that kind of person,'_ Usagi reasoned with herself as she began to walk up to them, but before Usagi could call out to Mamoru, she saw the woman kiss Mamoru on the cheek and walked off leaving a stunned looking Mamoru with a hand on his cheek where the woman had kissed him.

Usagi felt her heart throb in her chest as she stood rooted to that spot staring blankly at Mamoru. Mamoru turned around to see Usagi in that state and she saw guilt and fear in his eyes. "Usako," she heard him say after Mamoru had ran up to her and held onto her hand as if afraid she would run off, "It's not what it looks like."

Usagi only stared at him feeling herself going numb not knowing what to say. "Please lets talk at my place," Mamoru said in what Usagi felt was a pleading tone.

//End//

"I nodded yes and we walked back to his apartment. Neither of us said anything the whole way," Usagi said as a sob escaped her knowing what's to come next.

The girls asked if Usagi would like to stop right now, but she had shook her head saying she needs to get this off her chest.

//Flashback//

Usagi entered Mamoru's apartment and sat down on his coach with her eyes shut wishing this was just a nightmare. She heard Mamoru shut the door and his footsteps as he approached her before sitting down next to her on the coach. There was silence for a few moments until Mamoru whispered, "She's just a friend."

"Didn't seem that way to me," Usagi replied in a sad tone refusing to look at him.

"Usako," Mamoru said while holding her hand, but she continued to stare out his glass screen door, "She's a classmate in one of my classes. I only think of her as a friend and classmate. The...kiss you saw surprised me as it did you."

"You seemed comfortable enough to me," Usagi muttered in a hurt tone.

"Usako don't you trust me," Mamoru asked in a disappointed tone before emphasizing his next sentence, "I was only with a friend."

Rather than the desired effect of his words, Usagi suddenly turned and looked at him with angered and hurt eyes. "Yes and you rather spend your precious time with your friend than me," she yelled ripping her hand out of his grip, "You told me you had school work and even though I really just wanted to spend a little bit of time with you, I knew I couldn't be selfish, but it seemed you were out having fun with a friend who obviously wants to be more than friends! And there I was wanting to surprise you by buying lunch and brining it to what I thought was my boyfriend hard at work!"

Mamoru felt guilt, but anger and stubbornness got the best of him when he though of Usagi's obvious distrust of him at the moment. "I just went out to get lunch myself. Stop being unreasonable Usako," Mamoru said in an annoyed tone.

Usagi stood up and glared down at Mamoru as she clutched her fists at her side. "I'm being unreasonable! How dare you accuse me of such a thing after what just happened and it's not just that, you've been ignoring me for days. Is it so much to call and talk for a few minutes every other day or even just on the weekends," Usagi shouted.

Mamoru stood up and stared icily at her and without thinking said in a cold tone, "I've already gave up going to a great university so we wouldn't have to be apart! You are being too selfish right now. I have other responsibilities and can't always spend time with you!"

Usagi gasped at his words as tears filled her eyes blurring her vision. If her vision was not blurred, she would have seen the instant regret on Mamoru's face after those words came out of his mouth. "If that's how you feel...," Usagi choked out as she took off the ring on her finger and threw it at Mamoru, "That obviously is not suited for me. Mamoru I will no longer burden you with my childish and unreasonable attitude!"

//End//

"Then I ran out of his apartment and just wandered around for a few hours before going home," Usagi finished as she broke into a sob.

The girls comforted Usagi for a while until she eventually calmed down. They began talking about other things such as the coming Christmas holiday with the presents they can look forward to in an attempt to distract Usagi from thinking about Mamoru. "Hey guys, there's that Winter Dance coming up, so why don't we all go together," Minako suggested.

"Yeah I'm sure it will be fun. I think the committee in charge of it has already begun decorating a huge ballroom they've reserved for the dance," Rei put in.

"How they afford such a huge expensive ballroom anyway," Usagi asked curiously.

"Well I heard the dance is open to all high schools and Universities in the area, so they must have put their money together. It's suppose to bring people together as a Christmas spirit thing," Rei answered with a shrug.

Usagi stiffened at this information. '_That would mean he might be there,'_ she thought.

"Come on Usagi-chan it'll be great," Minako pleaded with a puppy dog pout causing everyone to smile nervously at her.

Suddenly a gleam entered Minako's eyes, "Hey we can have a sleep over at Rei's afterwards, so the next day we can all go Christmas shopping together!"

Rei jabbed Minako saying, "Minako-chan you can't just volunteer my place for a sleep over without asking me first."

"Aww come on Rei-chan you know it'll be fun and it's gonna be Christmas soon. You know you want to spend more time with friends," Minako said as she rubbed her side where Rei had jabbed her.

At Rei's sigh, Minako jumped up in glee and shouted, "It's decided then!"

"I don't know you guys," Usagi said with doubt still in her voice.

Ami put a hand on Usagi's shoulder and smiled softly saying, "It'll help keep things off your mind."

"Yeah, what better way to cheer up than spending time with your friends," Makoto added in.

Usagi smiled and nodded feeling grateful to have such caring friends. '_I shouldn't let him keep me sad and ruin my friends' Christmas,'_ she thought to herself.

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After Usagi left with Luna, the four girls remained and sat in silence for awhile. "You guys thinking what I'm thinking," Minako asked breaking the silence.

"Only if your thinking of pounding that jerk for hurting Usagi...again. It was bad enough that time years ago when he had broken up with her," Makoto said.

Rei silently agreed with Makoto, but didn't say anything. "Violence isn't going to solve anything. Besides, Usagi-chan wouldn't want Mamoru-san to be harmed," Ami reasoned.

"Well I say we should go and talk to Mamoru-san," Rei said.

"I agree with Rei. Mamoru-san probably feels awful and maybe we can help him to make it up to Usagi-chan," Minako said ignoring Makoto's muttering of 'he better feel awful.'

"I don't think you guys should meddle with this. If Mamoru-san wants to make it up to Usagi-chan, he will do it himself with or without your interference," Artemis said worried the girls may just make things worse for Usagi and Mamoru.

"It's probably better for them to work it out themselves. All we should do as friends is to support Usagi-chan like we did during their last breakup," Ami put in feeling a bit uncomfortable that their speaking about their friend's private matter.

"I guess you're right, but it won't hurt to let Mamoru-san know about how Usagi will be attending the Winter Dance now would it," Minako said with a grin.

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Sitting on his couch in the living room, Mamoru stared at the ceiling dejectedly. He felt horrible knowing the exams he took today were not even close to his best work. The whole time he was taking the exam he could not fully concentrate on it. His argument with Usagi was always on his mind. After the exams, he had shot like a jet to the nearest florist shop to buy a bouquet of roses before waiting at the arcade hoping to make amends with Usagi, but she never showed up. He had came home and threw the bouquet onto his coffee table feeling like the biggest jerk alive knowing that Usagi's probably avoiding him. His phone had rang at that moment and he had ran to answer it hoping that it might be Usagi, but his hopes were dashed when he heard the angry yells of Makoto, Rei and Minako on the other end. After a long time of "How could you" and "You're such an idiot," the girls finally told him about how Usagi will be going to the Winter Dance. After more threats of "You better not mess this up," Mamoru was finally able to hang up. Now he was sitting on his couch staring at the ceiling while wondering what he could do to win his Usako back at the Winter Dance.

As he sat there thinking, he couldn't help but be glad that the outers were away for Christmas. It gave him a better chance of making things up to Usagi. Mamoru couldn't help but shudder at the thought of what Haruka and Michiru may do if they find out he had caused their princess such heartache. Mamoru stood up and walked out onto the balcony to get some fresh air. The cold winter air sent chills down his spine, but it did help wake him up. After standing there for a few minutes, he went back into his apartment where warm air greeted him. He had a calmer expression as he made a cup of hot coffee and sat down at his desk intent on studying for the last of his exams the next day. '_Usako wouldn't want my studies to fall. Even if she forgives me, she will still have my hid for not doing my best on my schoolwork,' _Mamoru thought as a hint of a smile spread on his face.

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As the days went by, Usagi had been receiving numerous different apology gifts from Mamoru. Each night when she opened the door to her room, she would find an apology gift on her bed along with a single red rose. She guessed that Mamoru must have been using his alter-ego Tuxedo-Kamen to sneak into her room since none of her family members mentioned anything about the gifts. Usagi had continued to avoid Mamoru. In truth, she felt very confused about her feelings. A part of her want to forgive Mamoru and run back into his arms, but another part refused to. That part of her felt Mamoru had hurt her too badly and questions their relationship. At the same time, she also wondered about Mamoru's words and felt she really was holding him back which is making her think that Mamoru deserves a much better girlfriend than herself.

For Mamoru, he had spent the days planning on what he'll do at the dance. He continued to "send" gifts to Usagi. He also tried to catch her on her way home, but she always found a way to either avoid him or run away from him. He was too afraid of the chance of running into Usagi's father to ever go to her house or to even phone her. Each day he would think about how much he missed Usagi and hoped with all his heart and soul that he will be able to receive Usagi's forgiveness at the dance.

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**Night of the Dance**

"Wow this place is amazing ," Minako exclaimed as the five girls entered the large ballroom.

There were crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and many winter/Christmas theme paintings hanging on the walls. Balloons with pictures of Santa, reindeers, snowman, Christmas tree, etc. were tied to tables and chairs or just left floating on the ceiling. At one side were tables with refreshments and games tables set up. There was even a "Take a picture with Santa" booth at a corner where small mystery gifts were given to be exchanged with friends at the dance. The other side of the room was the dance floor with many people already having a blast.

Usagi decided to go straight to the refreshment tables while the other girls said they will check out some of the booths. When they couldn't see Usagi anymore, Rei took out her cellphone and called Mamoru. After a few minute on the phone, Rei told the girls that Mamoru was already here and is now looking for Usagi. The girls decided to let Mamoru find Usagi on his own and hoped for the best before Minako started to drag the girls to different booths.

Mamoru searched each refreshment table, but couldn't find Usagi. He continued his search through different booths until he spotted her on the dance floor with another guy. Feeling jealousy boiling through every part of his body, Mamoru stalked over to them. Standing right behind Usagi, he said in a cold voice, "Mind if I cut in."

Usagi stiffened at his voice knowing without turning around that it was Mamoru The guy was about to refuse, but quickly shut his mouth and left when he saw Mamoru's murderous glare. Mamoru quickly wrapped his arms around Usagi's waist to keep her from running away. Usagi refused to look at him as they began dancing. "Usako please don't turn away from me," Mamoru pleaded in a sad tone.

When Usagi continued to look away, Mamoru tilted her chin up with one of his hand while his other hand remained tightly wrapped around her waist. He felt his heart broke when he saw the tears in Usagi's defeated looking eyes. He tried to wipe the tears away with his thumb, but Usagi turned her face away from him. "Why are you here," Usagi asked in a soft whisper only Mamoru could hear.

"I'm really sorry Usako. I can't say that enough. What can I do to prove my sincerity. I'll do anything to get your forgiveness," Mamoru pleaded as he pulled Usagi closer to him.

Usagi felt torn as to what she should do. She sighed knowing she can't avoid this problem forever. '_It's unfair of me to keep running away,'_ she decided.

"Lets talk somewhere else," Usagi finally said.

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Deciding to leave the crowed ballroom, Mamoru and Usagi sat on a bench in the park. Mamoru had drove them there and the whole time he kept trying to convey his regret of what he had said. "I forgive you, but it's not that simple," Usagi said after a long silence.

"Then what is the problem," Mamoru asked hoping there will be someway to take away whatever was causing Usagi doubts in their relationship.

"I just feel so insignificant in your life sometimes," Usagi said as she put up her hand telling Mamoru to let her finish as he was about to protest, "I know how important your studies are, but there are many times I feel completely neglected as if you think you're always putting your studies before me. I know I'm being selfish for thinking that, but what you said that day made me even more certain of that. The fact is I've always been holding you back. It hurts to know that, but I can't deny it."

Mamoru took Usagi's hands into his own before saying, "Usako, I know you're not being selfish. That day I was irritated and I just unfairly took it out on you when we had that argument. It's true I gave up going to some good college, but that's not important to me. You're the most important and precious person in my life. As long as I'm with you nothing else matters."

"You say that, but what you said that day proves that you do regret not grabbing that opportunity," Usagi said as tears run down her face.

Mamoru gently wiped away her tears and placed his forehead against Usagi's and looked straight into her eyes saying, "I won't deny I let go of a good opportunity or that I do wonder what could have been, but I never regretted my decision to stay."

When Usagi was about to protest, he put a finger on her lips to stop her. "Usako, you have to realize that here are many other just as good or even better opportunities out there and I have a life-time to grab anyone of them, but I refuse to let there be even a slight chance that we will be apart. I've already made a mistake by directly causing you grief two times in this life and I will now risk doing anything to make you so sad ever again. I love you Usako so much. Please say you will give us another chance."

To Mamoru's joy and relief, Usagi launched herself into his arms saying, "I love you too Mamo-chan. I'm so sorry I doubted you."

Mamoru returned Usagi's hug and promised to never do anything that will cause her to doubt their love ever again.

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**Christmas Day**

Usagi had spent her morning with her family and friends. The whole afternoon was dedicated to Mamoru. He had brought her to an elegant restaurant for lunch before taking her to a rose garden where he had set up the words "I love you Usako" in Christmas lights. There he had proposed to her again since he had never given Usagi the ring back. Of course Usagi said yes and they spent some time dancing under the snow in the rose garden before heading back to Mamoru's apartment.

Now she is sitting in Mamoru's coach cuddling close to him and giggling at the look on his face. She had made him promise to have dinner with her family today and he was dreading her father's reaction. "Usako do I really have to go," Mamoru whined for the hundredth time.

"Hai Mamo-chan, you promised," Usagi said with a pout on her face.

Mamoru sighed knowing he can never refuse Usagi anything. "Fine, but don't blame me if you lose your boyfriend tonight," Mamoru muttered.

Usagi giggled and kissed him on his nose before saying, "Don't worry Mamo-chan. I won't let anything bad happen to you."

Mamoru smiled and pulled Usagi closer and whispered into her ear, "Merry Christmas Usako. I love you."

Usagi smiled at his words and said in a soft tone, "I love you too Mamo-chan. This has been the best Christmas."

She sighed in content as Mamoru pulled her into a soft kiss.

**A/N: I know it doesn't make sense for their to be roses when it's snowing, but hey it's my fanfic and I want that to happen. So this has been my first one-shot. Let me know what u think.**


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